Tuesday, February 23, 2016

In Being Dependent Sex


This past month, I had a lot of conversations with many people I already acquintance with but never really had much chance get to know them better through a deeper talking or some profound life advices. Aside from my regular work in an advertising agency (sounds so tired and not worth it? yea.. but I promise it's for the sake of fun within), I've been very much into a business which requires me to do lot of interaction. First clue, it is food business. And secondly, in my living area, food business also means providing a place (which unintentionally) to be a hang out area. So yeah, I hanged out a lot and that's how those conversations happened.

One night, I and one of my friend slash business guest were having a thorough conversation about gender issue -he had finish his drink, and not even try to order another one-. The topic came up because we were having a very regular conversation about relationship and marriage. This particular subject never gets old even if sometimes sort of repetitive. Everyone gets their own idea of marriage. And the controversy always goes to the gender role we ought to follow in the marriage system. In my generation, or probably I need to narrow it down to my circle of friends, men tend to be scared with the idea of providing almost everything (especially in financial area) for the whole family.They feel like it's going to be impossible in this current economic condition. Well yeah, I can't blame them to such problem though. He complained that if he could be a stay at home dad and doing house chores and tucking the babies to sleep that would be great. I had no idea if he was just thinking of being a lazy bum or he actually has this passion in domestic working. I replied confidently that I would be so happy if my spouse would do that and let me be responsible of the financial thing.

For me, it is not the matter of being the significant one who's responsible of providing the family. Or the matter of having status in workplace and having my name put into one professional badge. Well, that's just one thing. But the important one is that I'm thinking of being the independent sex.

Most men are not aware that women role in such particular issue, for example marriage, is not significant. Traditionally we (women) are cooking, cleaning house, picking up kids from school, and sometimes if we were pretty enough we could be a trophy wife that can be brought into a social convention with pride. Seems unimportant? Of course. Important is being known in politic, economic, education, or other thing that include making policy and solving dinamics obstacle within the society. Domestic working is for lame people. That's why people hire maid or butler. Nobody wants or be told to not want to be someone with passive role whose work is merely serve their opponent status.

This problem has been long occured and not taken care of seriously, I guess. Women are always being the second sex. We are here only to complement the existence of men. Even Eve were told so. Is that true? Or do we just get bored with what so called complacency and lack of accomplishment? Even if I believe that gender role system was not made to make one of us as the marginal one, but society doesn't think that way today. Doing house chores and taking care of kids = insignificant = lame.

In Feodalism, women performed 3 major roles as wife, mother and entertainer. No matter how illustrious the woman’s household may be, these roles inevitably lead to immanence, incompleteness, and profound frustration. That would lead to hysteria syndrom in mid to late 19th century.
While in the earliest era, when medication were not as developed as today, women are those who bring life but also risking dead threat because of child birth. Tota mulier in utero. Woman is a womb. That's why woman was worshipped. Men are not pyshically capable to give birth. Thus, they had to provide women with food, safety and other life major needs in order to make women survive so that human race can continue their existence. They knew role. They respected each other part in society. Everybody (seemed) fine.

But then, life goes on, death rate over giving birth is decreasing in time after time. Procreating is not anymore a good deal to make society goes well. Each gender lost its account to life basic roles. Men want to be stay at home dad because they don't know how much frustating to be dependent and giving their life serving their sex opponent. Meanwhile, women want to be free from their dependancy and refuse to be the subordinate because women apparently need to accomplish something other than domestic work. I guess there's nothing wrong, and I also guess that marriage system is no longer mandatory to human life (because, there are how many people in the earth now? A very lot). People are just getting bored and seek for things that actually matter in this chaotic and crowded sphere.

No comments:

Post a Comment